Dave / Joe: Beth is easy.
Max: Hey!
-PLOY (Courtesy Masked Assassin)

Lisa: Sex and gender are the same thing.
Max: Not so! I would much rather have sex than gender!

 

Beth: "He's not your mother."
Max: "My birth mother, no."
-NOISE (Courtesy Jill)

"I'm sorry... DOUG Nelson."

-MEET MAX LOUIS

 

"Why must you people insist I learn your names?"

-MEET MAX LOUIS (Courtesy Jill)

 

"Did you know he was always the first person to call me whenever I got fired? He called A LOT!"

-MEET MAX LOUIS (Courtesy Mare)

"Lisa, I already have friends!  What I need is sex!"
-FLOWERS FOR MATTHEW (Courtesy Jacob)

"I was just gonna tell [the kids] that it's okay to be a loser.  'Cause I'm one, and it worked out pretty good for me."

-BOSTON (Courtesy Jennifer Laio)

MAX:  Oh, she thinks this is some game I'm playing to get her to go out with me.
JIMMY:  Oh......  Is it?
MAX:  Of course not. Although I wouldn't be adverse to a quickie...
JIMMY:  No thanks, Max... maybe some other time.
MAX:  I wasn't talking to you, I was talkin' to Beth!
JIMMY:  Well... that's kind of embarrassing. You know it's like when somebody's wavin' at you and you *wave* back and it turns out they're wavin' at somebody else.
MAX:  Except you offered to sleep with me "some other time".
JIMMY:  I was just being polite.
-PLOY (Courtesy Mare) NEW ADDITION

revised 6/12/99

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